Tuesday, December 09, 2003

The Last Samurai Is A Good Movie

And frankly, I feel like I haven't seen such a good movie in a very long while. I can't decide if it's embarassing or not to so enthusiastically endorse a Tom Cruise movie which falls squarely within that sweeping, historical epic category, a.k.a. box office blockbuster, but if you are like me and take all movies with a grain of salt -- such as factoring in what the goal of the movie was -- then it's appropriate to be comfortable with having enjoyed it so much. I'm going to itemize the most compelling reasons why this movie was well-done. Well-done, for me, means that it is not a perfect piece in the true sense of the word, but that the filmmakers seemed to accomplish what they set out to do:

How The Last Samurai Gets It Right

1. Adheres to the relatively current trend of maintaining a requisite level of camp with increased attention to sincerity. This time, long, pensive looks have a motive. Tom Cruise is disgusted with killing, and ironically, the military history for which he is celebrated. But you can see deep within that squint that he was not exactly hardened. He's searching for something new. Alcoholic. Tortured. But impressionable.

2. Revisits politically-correct themes of the overbearing and rude white man thrown into a surprisingly civilized and classically misunderstood culture. Hollywood's love affair with this topic didn't die in the late 90's. It's easy to see how this is Dances With Wolves with Tom Cruise and the Japanese. Algren even has the same journal Dunbar had, with brilliant illustrations, is lost, seized by the enemy, and then returned back to the protagonist so that we're comfortable with the assumption that his heroic thoughts will live beyond this movie. This time, we don't have to endure silly cross-cultural blunder jokes that we were assaulted with in Lost In Translation. It's kept neat here with one incident where Tom tracks mud into the house with his dirty white-man shoes.

3. People you're supposed to respect in this story also happen to be easy on the eyes. Starting with Tom. You simply cannot help feeling that Ken Watanabe's character, the lord of the last samurais and Tom's captor-turned-dojo, is truly deserving of all the glory and pomp that would befit the never-say-die champion of the old ways, when you watch his graceful, towering stature and regal, sometime smirking face. He's like a distilled Chow Yun-Fat. The grieving widow assigned to nurse Tom's prisoner of war is also a strikingly beautiful woman. Her lines are expectedly few, but she nevertheless conveys so much more with her soulful gazes and quick, elegant movements.

4. Needless details that you somehow want explained remain unaddressed, which actually adds both mystique and a faster pace to the storytelling. How come this provincial samurai leader speaks such good English? Don't you want to tell me more about the historical significance of this lame-duck emperor that is the actual source of all this political upheaval? Wait a sec, why is this samurai leader a national hero and bandit all at the same time? When did Tom learn how to use chopsticks, and how does he maintain that physique with the spartan village diet? Why is the Scottish guy from "Head of the Class" Tom's military colleague? But these minor puzzles do end up relegated to the background and you do end up focusing on the more pertinent aspects of the story.

5. You understand what it is like to be a man. Or a warrior. Or a friend. Or some other guy thing. This movie is heavily male, to a fault. But there is something to be appreciated in these warrior men spouting out poetry, talking of cherry blossoms and meditation. They do it haltingly and in few words, so you understand that they have passed the true test of masculinity because they are sensitive with so much confidence. More male-isms are reinforced: being a man is about fighting to the death, being stubborn even when defeat is imminent, giving up all practicality because nothing is as sacred as your honor. Sadly, men do not consistently realize their Hollywood-promulgated potential. But this movie reminds you that these are the finest values of humankind and the ones that could be best represented by a good man.

6. No sex scene. Just one kiss. This would ordinarily be a con for most movies, but here, it was executed perfectly. Taka and Algren have as much chemistry as you could muster from a romance based on a language barrier and constantly averting each other's gaze. It would have been obscene to have the pristine widow shed that perfectly ironed kimono and get nasty on the tatami mat with the white guy who killed her husband. This movie got it right; you've seen Tom making out tons of times, so here we'll throw you off and choreograph a scene where Taka undresses Algren and it ends in one soft, impromptu kiss, heavily laden with longing and emotion. Done.

7. Visually stunning. Like watching flames of fire, where your eyes are dazzled and it's hard to peel them away. It may not be Lord of the Rings, but the CGI is mercifully kept to a minimum. The spectacles here revolve around colors, formations, simplicity, the neatness of things; emphasizing the most aesthetic of the Japanese culture, as if reminding you of the same reason you will later buy Sony Style products. The military battles will not be the best you've ever seen and are, in fact, excessive. However, the figure that a Samurai cuts in his armor sure gives the Orcs a run for their money.

8. Tom Cruise. I was never such a fan of his before, but I believe now he is underrated as an actor. There's no shame in picking movies that are catered to a large audience. He understands what his moviegoing expects of him, and it's admirable at the end of the day that he will pick projects that reconcile that expectation with a story with the potential to pan out so beautifully. Realistically, it's stars like Tom that channel star power into employing thousands of Hollywood minions. It is amazing to think that so many people can come together and turn one girl's doomed Monday night of studying into a cinematic treat.

Monday, December 08, 2003

Running In Circles

Once in awhile, an Onion article will come along that speaks directly to your struggle.

I Need to Have A Sexy Back Now, Too?

Taking care of oneself is a full-time job. You could give up your day job: it definitely takes time to weigh and measure the right blocks of nutrition to prepare each meal of the day, go for that morning jog, do the weight training, stretch the muscles with Yoga or Pilates, take recreational fitness classes to keep up those endorphins, visit the day spa to relax your body, see your facialist to keep the pores small, visit the hairstylist to take care of those roots, go to the manicurist and pedicurist, get waxings, etc. The list goes on and on. It's exhausting and infuriating all at the same time. Because this stuff takes money so you really do need your day job.

So what are our options? Look gross and make paper? Or look fantastically sexy on a diet of protein-enhanced Top Ramen? Actually, I rather like the chicken flavored one.

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Low of Lows

I hate my face right now. I don't remember ever loving it, but I do remember times when I clearly didn't hate it as acutely as I do right now. Obviously, the fact that I've posted pictures of myself before, attest to the fact that usually I am not so much in loathe with it. But right now, man, could I use a face transplant.

Jose told me to never talk about it with him. I have a bad habit of telling him every 5 minutes on the phone, "I hate myself, I hate my face, I'm so fat," and he finally laid down the law and said, "You cannot ever say this to me again." He was very resolute about it. So I just whisper it real soft while covering the receiver when we're on the phone. That way, I don't have to unlearn anything. I think that's the spirit of what he wanted me to accomplish.

I tried to make gravy today. It didn't work out. I don't want to talk about it. I pride myself on being a good cook, and today was very damaging for my self-esteem.

As if it could get any worse.


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