WTF!
Hotmail is giving me a hell of a time. For some unknown reason, I cannot send mail out of my Outlook from my e-mail address, although the e-mails have been arriving with no complication. Has anybody experienced a similar problem? Please let me know! I cannot even use it on the browser. It's hugely frustrating. And if I have to receive just one more e-mail about Gainpro...
I have 5 open book exams, all in a row, coming up in one week.
I think I'd like a honey to keep me warm and laughing. Or maybe Jose could just come home from Peru already.
Moonlight Hides Your Fears
I'll buy a martini for he or she who can tell me what song that's from...
I'm going through a blue funk but I felt more baby blue after dinner with Cirrus at Via Italia. I seriously love this girl. She made me laugh just when I thought I was on the verge of crying. Tonight, I recognize once again that I could not ask for friends more cosmopolitan, engaging, intelligent, and all-around fun.
And now, I'm dancing in my room again, so I guess things are not as bunk as I thought.
I came across an old friend's weblog, one of the girls I used to dance with at UCLA. She is looking fit and great, and appears to be eating up LA life as I might have done had I stayed there. There's just something about the clothes she's wearing, the way her hair is, etc. -- the whole vibe. I'm looking at her and seeing what could have been, and then pitting that against what my life is like here. On one hand, glimpsing my would-be lifestyle creates all kinds of funny longing in me, but on the other, I am here today very pleased with the people I've met, the scenery I've seen, the things that I've learned, and the person that I have become.
San Diego, you've been good to me. Thank you and good night.
Like Buttah
Everything is silky and velvety rich, like a really good seafood bouillabaisse. I like to slink around in this atmosphere, listening to a slow, lilting, and haunting sort of song... and I stretch back and forth, luxuriating like a cat. The stretches are taut one moment, and extended the next, and I can feel muscles that I haven't felt in a long while. It's like I am wearing a new skin.
I think I'm really some sort of glutton.
Party On, Party Off
It's hard to live the good life. You go out of a control at a party, and you're sitting around, surveying the scene around you. The wine flows and everybody has dazed, happy grins slapped on their faces. Music's pumping and everybody smells good: Marc Jacobs, Dolce e Gabbana Light Blue, Escada, always somebody with Cool Water or Polo Sport. You tell yourself, "I'm lovin' this, and I don't think it can get any better than this." Different people ooze in and out of your booth and it's sort of fun trying to figure out what this person wants when he's copping a feel under the table by gently grabbing your knee. Voices escalate and laughter gurgles around you. Lights flicker, and when you check your reflection in the mirrored wall, you don't let being noticeably red or having sort of lost the volume in your hair bother you too much, because the white dress you chose actually looks good against your tan. So life is pretty cool, after all.
But I wasn't being sarcastic. It actually is hard to live the good life, because everything after that seems to pale in the worst way. The Tylenol and a few cups of coffee can temporarily get rid of the hangover, but suddenly long stretches of silent solitude feel more barren than they should. You wonder a little about the things that you said the night before; the hands you clasped; the looks you exchanged; maybe even the kisses you gave. You can have it all at one moment, but in the next, you very often have nothing at all.
I'm in my "80's and Holocaust" phase right now. Only 80's music and Holocaust movies. It's a strange combination, but I really can't control what will arrest my interest on any given week.
