"Parties in New York aren't fun. They're war."That's straight from
Bergdorf Blondes. It sounds true of all parties, when I think about the kind of fuss and fret that goes into any party prep, personally and publicly. The first few pages of spring's "it" chick lit nauseated me with its talk of Park Avenue, Carolyn Bessette Kennedy blonde, Botox and Brazilians. And the aspirational LA girl in me is programmed to only grudgingly accept anything NYC-based. But when you're studying for the Bar exam, you look to things like
Bergdorf Blondes to unwind with.
I've been very sluggish about blogging because Bar studying also makes forming sentences and paragraphs really taxing. But I've been enjoying life and post-graduate life. Things were hectic for a few weeks with graduation festivities. The generosity of people in my life astonished and tickled me. I got some love from Tiffany's, Miu Miu, and Hogan, which is really a lethal combination.
I am never without amusements and dalliances, and here is a brief list of 10 things that
I'm Digging On...1.
High Tea. Cirrus and I have tried the Westgate (excellent) and then the Hotel Del (overpriced and overrated). We're going to cover all of San Diego before we're through. Tea sandwiches and Devonshire cream -- who can resist?
2.
Eric Bana. I dream about him. When I see a picture of him I have to avert my eyes else I suffer an extreme physical reaction that is a combination of anxiety, hyperventilation, and ladylike lust.
3.
Pilates and Weight Training. I don't go as often as I like.
4.
Soundscapes. I constantly have the sound of lilting music and crashing waves playing in the background. Part Sims, part day spa, part John Tesh. It's relaxing and non-distracting.
5.
Vogue Magazine. I didn't know that I would like it so much, but it's perfect. I may be addicted.
6.
"Coupling." The TV show, I mean! It's a BBC import that I re-discovered. When I saw it the first time, I saw it as a transparent "Friends" + "Sex and the City" knock-off (and I hate knock-offs), but then realized, goodness, what is a better combination than "Friends" + "Sex and the City"? The American copy of it was just that, and it's a good thing it went off the air. Always go with the original. The DVDs are on their way so that I don't have to wait for PBS or BBC America anymore.
7.
"Design on a Dime." It's the only design show I can stand. It makes sense to me, because if you had endless funding you'd better damn well have a gorgeous room, but what you can achieve on a budget is what is really interesting.
8.
The Last 15 Minutes of "What Not To Wear." Another British import, but this time I prefer the American version. I only tune in when the makeover by Nick and Carmandy kick in. The clothing stylists sicken me a bit, they're so self-ingratiating and New Yorker rude. The real transformation is thanks to the hair and makeup stylist who barely get any face time.
9.
Target Brand Products. I love Tar
get. Unlike Moschino, this is the
real cheap and chic.
10.
The Golden Girls. This will never change.
Self-Assessment
If ever I had time to engage in a more extended period of self-assessment, it's now. I just had my last exam ever on Saturday -- and I still got a chill of excitement just mentioning it again. (
No more exams, ever!) Rather than immediately plan a trip away for repose, I was looking forward to two weeks of just tooling around my apartment and environs. I have acutely felt for some time that with all of the ridiculous trivialities (well, school and work) swirling around me, I have never really been able to enjoy the many wonderful aspects of my daily life.
Better than that, because it was the week of my birthday, I have been seriously wined and dined by my bevy of remarkable friends. 2004 has thus far been an amazing year, one of the best of my short life. And on the topic of short lives, I hate when people make comments like, "Damn, we're getting old," or "It's all downhill from here!" I just don't understand the hurry to get to 21 and then feeling the irrepressible need to resent aging beyond that point. I still feel so young, and almost anxious to get to 30. I feel that 25 still makes me a kid. People have so much get-up-and-go in them, and with attention spans becoming shorter and shorter in modern society, you really do have so much time to experience many things. I think of the things I've done in the past couple of days and cannot imagine stretching that across some interminable lifetime. When I'm 30, I'll be able to buy Ethan Allen furniture or buy lots of custom-made cherry-wood pieces. Somehow, that just isn't suitable for someone in their 20's. It's like your early 20's are reserved for IKEA, and your late 20's for Pottery Barn. And then when you're 40 you're supposed to pick up antiques or collecting or something. And then when you're in your 50's, well that means you get to wear really garish, sparkling jewelry. See, there's always something to look forward to, and I really don't care to be in my 20's forever. If I were, how would I ever be able to experience the medical wonder of Botox?
Reveling in aging isn't the only experiment of my two weeks of self-assessment. I have known for some time that I speak too quickly. It's unnerving and I see it as a genuine impediment for my professional success. Tonight, I took out my digital camera and filmed a few MPEGs (now erased) of myself reading different articles on Reuters. Some of it was acting out a fantasy of being a news anchor; but mostly, it was a clinical analysis of the many distractions in my manner of speaking. I was shocked at how much I slur syllables no matter how much I had tried to enunciate. I was displeased at the lack of cadence in my sentences that made me resemble the Micro-Machine man more than a pleasant presentatrice. Most disappointing of all was how expressive my face unavoidably was. My eyebrows were flying all over the place and I have a real knack for working that crease between my eyebrows. At the end of each clip, I felt like the only solution was to Botox my entire face. But of course, that's just silly -- I don't have $8000. So I practiced and recorded some more, until I could wrest some control into the top portion of my face, and divert attention away from seeing my darting eyes to hearing my speech.
It was actually a real physical task and now I have a newfound respect for on-camera "talent" (as they were referred to back at Fox News Channel). We used to snicker and ridicule the talking heads for sounding like charismatic robots. But, it's difficult to sound natural and controlled at the same time, and seldom are people a genuine balance of the two.
Well, that's enough prattle for the evening. Forensic Files is on. I'm going to turn my attention now to poorly executed crimes where suspects left a damning trail of irrefutable scientific evidence.
Best Birthday Ever
Just when you think that there's nothing left in the world that can surprise you. When you resolve that things can never be more than business as usual. When you feel like you've taken note of everything in your life that you're grateful for. When the small things in life, which really are the best things in life, nevertheless must be the best things in life because you've rationalized it to that point...
Today I feel very alive, and emotional, and so terribly happy. I had my very first... surprise birthday party! And I cried nearly all the way through it. I look terrible in the pictures, but for once in my life I don't give a damn. I had made a list throughout the day of things during my birthday that made me happy, that I was glad for, but as the best things are saved for last, the coup de grace truly topped them all.
Karen's 25th: The Key Events
1.
Barbie called me. Late last night, as a precursor, none other than Barbie called me to wish me a happy birthday. She sang a song for me and was appreciably perky. And then, "Let's hang up the phone now, OK?" Never one to disobey Barbie, I complied. Later, I found out that Eve had paid Barbie $2.49 to make the call, but that didn't take away from Barbie's time and effort...
2.
Got the requisite midnight/morning first greeting. At midnight, May 5, 2004, (or 12:00 in the morning, May 6, 2004) an unexpected friend made me smile.
3.
Received an iTunes gift certificate. So perfect to accompany my new pink iPod, and I promptly downloaded (legally) a handful of birthday-commemorating songs.
4.
Studied!
5.
Surprise! Party in the back room at a charming Italian restaurant in the Little Italy district of San Diego.
6.
Mylar balloons! Including one that said, "Feliz Cumpleanos!" Cirrus picked that one out especially for me. Like an 8-year-old girl, I will press those balloons flat and paste them across my walls.
7.
I was a princess! I had a furry tiara that sparkled, a boa, and a magic wand. Who needs to be queen for a day when your friends know you think you're a little princess.
8.
Chocolate cake! 'Nuff said.
9.
My facialist was there!
10.
Bouquet of Gerber daisies! My apartment now looks like it's perenially Easter Sunday.
11.
Darling little gifts! Items that complemeted each other: Sephora cosmetics and a framed photo of the Moot Court Board with Justice Scalia. Did I mention I had a tiara?
You have to understand, I've been so used to having little or seriously delayed birthday celebrations since my birthday falls squarely within finals period. College. Law school. You suckers jacked me over for 7 years now! And I have the most amazing friends -- who clearly, in past lives, were wedding planners or something -- who were sly all week acting indifferent and nonchalant about the Day. I underestimated the Party Planning Juggernaut in my dear fairy godmothers, Cirrus and Eve. Down to the last detail, everything was perfect.
I was paralyzed, and then felt seriously unstable as the paroxysm of emotion and gratitude poured forth. My hands were full and the pictures were snapped. This will make it unbearably difficult to leave San Diego. I may never realize my goal of winning an Olympic gold medal, but I imagine that this enormous appreciation and warmth has got to be what it feels like.
Thank you, Eve and Cirrus. I love you both!
BEFORE
Complacent, unsuspecting, and ripe for surprising. All smiles and artifice on my birthday.
AFTER
Surprise! You would have thought I just got picked for an Extreme Makeover or something.
The greatest birthday gift is being able to say, I have a charmed life.
