miss adventures

Both Sides Now

Notes on a Sunday night...

• If you listen to enough songs, whatever it is will go away.
• Sometimes, you really do have to take the plastic cover off of your small electronics. Even if it's uncalled for teasing that hastens the move.
• Fatigue is bad for you, but it's worse on your friends.
• There's comfort in knowing that it's simply too late to ruin your life -- and that you can only potentially ruin a night of rest.

The trip to San Francisco went swimmingly. My signature deja vu move is always being alone on a train en route to the unexpected, even when this same scene invariably plays out the same way. There was a Mystery Man On the Train. He had on a pale green striped shirt whose collar peeked out of his darker green cashmere sweater, which was well-fitted. He had on brown slacks and brown shoes, with curly brown hair and a southern European profile. His shoes were well-polished and there was a furrow in his brow as he read the New York Times. He looked totally unaffected and preoccupied. I admired his outfit and wondered where he was from, and where he was going.

On the 45-minute flight home, I looked out the window the whole time, across the sheets of billowy white clouds so artfully suspended in the clear California air. And then, in one of those unplanned but well-timed moments that life sometimes has to offer, my iPod played a song that I found very fitting if I imagined that a soundtrack always played in the background of my life.

Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air,
And feather canyons everywhere.
I've looked at clouds that way.

But now they only block the sun.
They rain and snow on everyone.
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way.

I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down
And still somehow it's cloud illusions I recall.
I really don't know clouds at all.

Moons and Junes and ferris wheels,
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real.
I've looked at love that way.

But now it's just another show.
You leave 'em laughing when you go.
And if you care, don't let them know.
Don't give yourself away.

I've looked at love from both sides now.
From give and take
And still somehow it's love's illusions I recall.
I really don't know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say, "I love you" right out loud,
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds --
I've looked at life that way.

But now old friends are acting strange.
They shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Well something's lost, but something's gained
In living every day.

I've looked at life from both sides now.
From win and lose,
And still somehow it's life's illusions I recall.
I really don't know life at all.

- J. Mitchell

posted by Lucy Sloan @ 11:26 PM