Feels like I'm going to lose my mind. I don't know if it's the caffeine or the interminable hours of staring at text, but I am sitting here feeling completely contained, incurably restless. I have the urge to run around mindlessly. Or stand idly by a bar, dimly lit from varying angles, casually sipping a Cosmopolitan so lightly pink you know it's perfectly heavy on the Grey Goose.
And after all this, I know that it's still not enough. It will never be enough. I learned these lessons so many months, even years, ago. One year ago around this time I was preparing to go to a Moot Court competition in Nashville. I remember being run ragged around that time, eating, drinking, and breathing First Amendment law. And if it weren't for this wretched Bar exam, I would still be in the throes of an appellate brief from work, had they not filed an extension in consideration of my circumstances. It's always something! In my life, February is supposed to be filled with love and birthdays. And yet -- in the past few years, it has just been law, law, law.
I'm ranting now. Friends and family are uncomfortably familiar with the frights of a stressed-out Karen, and maybe we're on the threshold of one now. Last night, for a magical thirty minutes I could watch formerly unemployed and fancy-free Karen jumping on trampolines and cussing like a (modern) drunk pirate on cable television. That was nice, so nice.
Didn't somebody hear me order a Cosmo? Well, where is it!
posted by Lucy Sloan @ 1:32 AM
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