The legal assistant at our office is 48 years old, a tall, delicate, and yet very vibrant woman. After my lunch break today, she came up to me at my desk, very giddy, and showed me the results of her most recent health exam. All of her numbers either bested or were within the averages prescribed for women in age brackets even younger than hers. Most impressive of all, her level of HDL (good) cholesterol was very high.
She was incredibly excited. "I'm going to celebrate by eating a cheese quesadilla with guacamole!" The mirth in her voice was almost devilish, as she thought of the usually decadent consequences of such a meal.
I was a bit stupefied, though I kept it to myself. The lunch I had just eaten consisted of 6-piece Chicken McNuggets, a Filet-o-Fish, and some peanut butter frozen yogurt with Oreo crumbles. I decided that I wouldn't disclose this. But with that in mind, I wholeheartedly complimented her on her excellent health. More casual conversation revealed that she got up early every morning to use the treadmill and walked miles over the weekends. She was also quite an aerobics buff in the 80's. We talked about leg warmers and working out to "What I Like About You." I thought about how I routinely dragged myself out of bed every morning and ate some kind of pork product before heading out the door.
I don't know if I feel guilty right now, or ashamed, or scared of the inevitable toll of the aging process. Because of US Weekly's last magazine cover, I have become acutely aware of the Botox phenomenon and have started fixating on who needs it and who doesn't in my daily interactions with people. I also keep my face absolutely still as much as I can so that I do not create any of those premature, unnecessary lines. I want to avoid plastic surgery as much as I can, I want to look youthful for as long as I can, and I want to avoid looking like Joan Rivers/The Grinch as much as I can. Not much of this should be an issue with me since I've got very sturdy skin and my mom looks pretty line-free. But what trumps here -- common sense, or being a product of my society? 9 times out of 10 the latter usually prevails.
I do hope someday I can be as giddy as my co-worker was today. And be able to coo to a girl half her age that my health is superior. And to feel that the guiltiest pleasure of all is having a cheese quesadilla with guacamole.
In an unrelated story, yesterday I left my cell phone at home, and then when I got home at 8:30 pm that night, there were 35 missed calls and messages from friends and family looking for me, and my parents had driven down to San Diego from Los Angeles to check that I was OK. Because I had not returned their call earlier in the day, they started the manhunt. This is a true, and disturbing, story.
posted by Lucy Sloan @ 3:32 PM
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