I ate by myself for lunch. I wanted it that way, even though I brought a book with me in case I felt so self-conscious that I needed to use the decoy and look terribly preoccupied. But over a light lunch of rice and chicken, the book stayed in my bag, and I stared out the window instead, thinking about all the things that I would give up just to pass the Bar exam on the first try.
I must have engaged in such deep thinking for at least a couple of minutes before realizing how unhealthy it all was. Please, I wouldn't really give up anything in what is actually a very nice life. The worst that happens is that I take it again. I don't know how many times friends have cited JFK Jr.'s multiple attempts as the law student's ultimate failing freebie. But you know, it's really quite different because what does he care, he was rich and good-looking. I'm in debt and can barely achieve good looks with dim lighting and Maybelline.
Honestly, though, even for a little layperson like me, I know that my road has been overprivileged, and it wouldn't hurt me to get off the path of least resistance at least for another 4 months. The really bad thing is how atrociously expensive it all would be the second time around. We all agree that being a lawyer is a total dog and pony show.
Maybe the coolest thing that happened today was that, while playing "Leaving On A Jet Plane" in my car, the acoustics were so great that for a moment I thought I had Peter in the passenger seat and Paul and Mary chilling in the back. We were all having one hell of a sing-along together, cruising on the 110.
Night.
posted by Lucy Sloan @ 1:02 AM
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