Thursday, September 18, 2003

It's Fine, Really

OK, so nobody reads my blog. Or if they do, I can probably count all these people on one hand. And it can be a disfigured, maimed hand short of a few fingers. Whatever.

But I thank you, my loyal readers, for your continued patronage and support. Without you, I would have nothing to do at work.

In a rare moment of candor, I'll deliver my version of a State of the Union address:

I am healthy and happy right now. Sometimes my haircut is not exactly as I'd like it, and I'd prefer more muscle tone around my abdominal region and arms. But I have a wonderful core of friends who call me daily with exciting little tidbits about their lives -- which keeps me feeling included and amused. I live in a quaint little apartment that actually is the perfect refuge after a long day, and I like that things smell fragrant and different from room to room, cementing the fact that each space has its own personality and purpose. I have some moderate buying power, enough to keep me armed with those stylish little knick-knacks I love. I have more autonomy than I would have ever imagined I could have. And everyone in my family seems to be doing OK.

I do worry about getting a job next year, or applying to another law school to get a masters in something. I mask some of my jealousy and worry when other classmates talk about "getting offers" and other lofty employment plans. And I often censure myself for not being more motivated or proactive about the many opportunities that I could actually pursue. I know that my greatest fault is that I am lazy.

I wonder if I can ever really be in a relationship, because it's been so long since I was in a real one. And at that, was it a real one? Where some people have an attachment to being monogamous relationships, I feel like I'm developing -- or finally recognizing -- an attachment to being single. It's nice to be flirted with, and to be able to flirt. It gives you that neat little non-committal buzz.

I'm a little bit burned out today, but I guess this means it's been a good week.

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